Stephen Mosher On Gym Etiquette

Put your fucking shit back.  Asshole.

Do you know who puts those weights back?  Do you know who puts that swiss ball back?   How about that yoga matt?   Or the bosu ball?  Or the kettlebell?

THE OTHER MEMBERS.  Asshole.

Yes, the gym has employees.  But they aren’t there to be your maid, your mother or your spouse.  Sometimes those gym employees are washing those five towels that you just had to use on ONE fucking trip to the locker room.  Sometimes those gym employees are signing up new members.  Sometimes those gym employees are in a staff meeting, doing administrative work, cleaning up the locker room, giving a tour to a prospective new member.  Those gym employees have a lot of duties and cannot be there to pick up the weights and other equipment that you are too lazy to put away.  So it is other members who are inconvenienced by your inconsideration. 

So BUCK UP Asshole. 

Put your shit away.

And while we’re at it.  Wear proper clothing.  People don’t want to see your nipples while they are working out.  Or your genitalia.  Or even your inner thigh, men.  Women can get away with a lot, when it comes to clothing.  But, gents, cover it up.  This isn’t the beach and it’s not a sex club.  Or even a night club.  There’s no DJ.  (ok, in some clubs there are, but still….)  Cover your shame.  Or your pride.  It’s a gym.

Don’t EAT on the FLOOR!  Whatever you are eating SMELLS.  And it’s unsanitary.  And it’s disgusting.  Nobody wants to see you chewing your cud and the food spilling out of your teeth onto the floor, let alone smell it.  This is not your house.  It’s a privately owned public place.  Have some fuckin’ manners.

It should go without saying:  don’t grab your friends and hang out around a machine that people want to use.  Use it and move on.  It’s a gym, honey, not a tea party.

And, for cryin’ out loud, shower.  Ever notice that people leave your general vicinity when you are in the gym.  Open your eyes, take the hint and hit the shower.

I offer all of this advice as a person who spent the last sixteen years in gyms around the city, indeed, around the country.

Don’t be the gym douche.