Stephen Mosher On Being a Role Model

I didn’t intend to be a role model.  I just wanted to live my life.   Only life becomes very complicated and messy; and as you deal with the complications and clean up the mess, you learn lessons.   You grow, you change, you evolve, you learn.  There comes a point, then, when a conscientious person thinks to themselves maybe there is a cosmic purpose for all of this mess and complication, for the lesson learned and the evolutionary path.  This conscientious person decided to pass the messages on and, hopefully, help others on their way.

At first, the role model thing was just living and leading by example, answering questions when people ask them, offering help when they need it.  With the advent of blogging there was an opportunity to put the truth out there so that people who wanted it could find it and take it.  Then came social media and, with Facebook postings and Instagram videos came a chance to interact with people and get feedback on what they needed and what was helpful.   When we created the movie Married and Counting we had a big opportunity to be role models for longterm relationships and for Equality.   All of these manners of spreading good will, positive energy and education was a welcome addition to the lives of myself and my husband.   We have always been happy to help others when they need it.  The best way, though, is to walk the walk.  That’s why I used Facebook to share the stories of my life, to post the “Accountability Videos” I did for about 18 months.  I always wanted my mistakes to mean something.

That’s why it was so rewarding to have the response, via social media and in person.  The feedback was always good and welcome.  It meant that something I was doing was going right.  And the feedback isn’t at all ego building – on the contrary, it makes you humble.  It makes you want to keep doing a good job, setting a good example, sharing with honesty and candor.

But honesty and candor makes people uncomfortable.  And I received some unpleasant comments, emails, texts about my ‘need’ to share… or even overshare.  And it is time for me to share again – this time some cold hard truths.

I didn’t do any of it for validation.  I didn’t do any of it out of any need.  I did it because I loved it, because I loved people, because I loved helping.  I didn’t do any of it to get people to pay attention to me, I didn’t do any of it to be complimented or to be considered a hero.   I did it out of a desire to help.  And people who believed otherwise, well, they just don’t know.  They don’t know the truth and they don’t know me.  And I don’t care.  The people who matter to me, in real life, know the truth and they know me.  And that’s enough.

It was all in the name of love.  And I hope it may have taken, for even one person.  I hope that it made a difference, for even one person.  If it did then it was worth the effort.

That’s all a role model, willing or unwilling, can hope for.


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